Homesickness

Today, I have eaten chocolate chip cookies, two big cheese and pickle sandwiches, and a bowl of chocolate ice cream.  I have listened to my playlist of all my favorite songs from the past two years on repeat.  And I have pointlessly perused old photo albums on facebook for far too long.  Translation:  I’m homesick.

It’s hard to describe the feeling, but I think most everyone has felt it at some point in their life anyway.  Sometimes it aches, and it feels like your body is actually sore from the pressure of it, and sometimes it just itches, like you can’t get comfortable because nothing feels quite right.  And fighting the disease is even harder than describing it.  Everyone has to come up with their own methods, and I am no exception.  I’m still trying to figure out the best ways to bust the longing for home, but here are a few I’ve worked out so far:

1. Comfort food. Naturally I would go to this first.  I love food.  And it really does make a difference.  Food = love.  Home = love.  Therefore, food = home.  Simple maths.
2. Hanging out with friends.  A cynic would say that this just provides a distraction from the longing, and I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t take my mind off the longing.  But that’s not all.  The more time I spend bonding with people here, the more I’m making this place home, and so the less I need things from Michigan to feel relaxed and like I belong and every other comfortable feeling that comes from being home.  I can get those feelings here, too. 
3. Reading.  Or watching a movie.  Getting lost in a story is a way to get into a different skin, a place where the definition of home doesn’t have to be an issue. 
4. Music.  It just takes you to a familiar place.  That’s what it’s supposed to do.  And the point is to get away from the feeling of being homesick, to just feel different.

Me pretending to be sad.  I didn't have any pictures of
me being genuinely sad, so this is the best I could do.

Me with my housemates being genuinely happy.

Up until now, it mostly just itched.  Intermittently at first, then alternating with an aching feeling, and now it mostly just aches.  Today the aching was really strong, hence all the cookies and ice cream.  Keep in mind that everything I’ve said still applies right now -- I’m still having an amazing time, and life here is still so much fun.  I really mean that.  I’m just feeling sad on top of all the good times.  And the problem is not that I want to go home, it’s that I want to feel at home.  I’m in transition.  It's an important part of the experience, and it's a good thing -- I'm clinging to that.  It means I know tomorrow will feel different, because I will have transistioned to my life here a little more.  It means I know tomorrow will be a better day.

Here's a music video that helped lift my spirits and worked for some other people I know, too:  Watch This!